Painful, Thankful Thing

An experience shared by Natalie, a Pause Crew Member

A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I visited his brother in Atlanta. We had a wonderful time. Once home, I set out to pick up our dog at the doggy hotel, driving down Manchester Rd. in St. Louis, MO, which is a very long road giving me plenty of time to think. I drove along reminiscing the weekend and feeling grateful for my extended family. My husbands’ brother, as well as his sister, have become my brother & sister.

Then suddenly, I burst into tears.

I realized I was grieving my own biological sister. Our relationship has become non-existent over the years and apparently, there has been a sadness resting deep within me as a result. As I continued to cry, I felt Inspiration Within nudging me to deal with my feelings, here and now. Since childhood, I’ve been an avoider of feelings, which seems to show up in all kinds of different ways and when I least expect it.

I decided to Listen and Follow the guidance of Inspiration Within and I let myself feel these feelings. Thankfully, within minutes, my tears were drying up and I was experiencing an Inner Love for myself and my sister. I forgave us both and, in that moment, I let it all go. I also felt a sense of “permission”, an allowing, to move forward, to be happy and to live an Inspired Life. I wish that for my sister, too.

Although this was a painful moment, I take comfort in the Pause Practice for Centering me and helping me realize I am Loved, Safe, Healed, and Whole, no matter what. Many times, one cannot clearly see the outcome in situations. When I Pause, I am able to see that not knowing is alright.

I am Willing to Trust that there is a
Wisdom and Knowing
greater than what I am thinking,
yet still within me,
leading into an awareness of the
connection to Inspiration.