365 Pause Practices – Day 88
Needing to Be Right is a Losing Battle
most of the time
So many of our everyday interactions and communications relate to the need to point out to another person, “I’m right and you’re wrong.” Somehow, someway
we want to find a way to shame that person, to put another down, to
let someone know they screwed up. I know you know what I mean!
YES, there are situations in that I truly want to stand up for
what is Safe, Kind, Wise, and Truly Helpful.
Hopefully, I Paused for the Wisdom of My Helpful Self first!
Applying The Pause Practice when I INSIST ON BEING RIGHT or when I am
on the end of SOMEONE ELSE NEEDING TO PROVE THEY’RE RIGHT, is
proving to be VASTLY HELPFUL. Sometimes I’ve had to experience not using
Pause only to discover I wish I had. We have worthless habits to UNLEARN
and worthy habits to LEARN.
Do Your Self a Favor.
Use Pause Already!!!
I speak from a lifetime of experience of
not pausing vs. Practicing The Pause.
Need to be Right!
We have all DONE IT & been DONE IN by it – right?
- Voice gets louder
- Head nods side-to-side
- Eyes roll
- Trying to explain when the other person doesn’t want to hear
- Realizing I’ve done this before without success
- Attempts to be rational to a person who’s stuck in irrational; who’s which?
- Sending emails, texts, voicemails back and forth justifying behavior
- Wasting time
- Slamming doors
- Trying to change and/or control another person &/or situation. LOLOL
- Maybe I’m not right
- If I admit I made a mistake, I’ll feel ashamed, embarrassed, less than, and what do I do with that?
- The shame we don’t look at and heal, we project/vomit onto others so we don’t have to change
- Hostility, expressed or repressed, takes a huge toll on physical health, mental state, & relationships
- How does needing to be right, over usually insignificant stuff, affect the meaning of my life? For better or worse?
Why turn ridiculousness into more ridiculousness?
Letting Go Of Needing to Be Right
- One day in a moment of needing to be right, I heard my Inspired Self in a pause say, “Mary, is this how you want to use your energy?” NO!
- I receive an email trying to point the finger at me. In a pause, I find myself called to show compassion for this person and maybe myself who are stressed. In a pause, my response is kind. I’m not pushing my feelings down; as I am compassionate towards another, I reap the benefits myself.
- Save time!
- Even if I am “right” is my “winning” this battle truly going to change anything? Isn’t it ego?
- Is there another way to see this?
- What would be truly helpful now?
- A huge weight is lifted off my mind and body
- Wellbeing is worth it; for everyone involved
- Life has meaning when I get out of my own way and allow Wisdom to show me the way.
- Whoever is needing to be “right”, often it is a call for LOVE ~ Real LOVE ~ not the “Oh, I love you” kind of love today, and “Oh, I hate you” kind of “love” tomorrow.
- Let LOVE, love you
- Let LOVE, love the other person even though you disagree
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