Caregiving In The Pause: Connecting With Our Elderly Loved Ones
My mom, who is 90, said ” I am wondering what I will do with the rest of my life.”
I am a caregiver for my 90 year old mom. Like many of us she tends to worry and have anxious moments. One afternoon at lunch I was Inspired to practice “The 4 Decisions” together. Here we are using the card to help us both chill out in our minds while hanging out at California Pizza Kitchen. Mom loves their fettuccine and being an authentic Italian cook, that is saying something!
Amazing how the simple practice of The 4D brought us both to laugh and experience how close we really are. And, that my father who passed on in 2010 at the age of 93, is very much hanging out with us, in the “Pause.” He’s laughing too, I assure you!
As caregivers for our elderly parents, it can sometimes be challenging to connect as physical and mental abilities decline and bring various challenges. Feelings come up for the parent and the child, whom is now assuming the role of “parent.” Last week my mom was having a few difficult days due to some confusion and forgetting. It came to me that sometimes caregiving feels like I am taking care of a child who is moving towards the end of her life on this earth – a child who is also my parent, and a long time friend. A mix of feelings.
My mom loves Pause For Inspiration. One evening she was especially anxious so I read to her from the book, Pause For Inspiration. She moved from being anxious, fearful and crying to being calm, focused and asking questions in which she was relating the content of the book to her life now. The elderly still have LIFE left in them and very much want to truly live the rest of their earthly life, just like the rest of us. Pausing For Inspiration is a way to do just that.