Pausing With Grief

Grief is a unique thing. One never knows how it will appear, the shape it will take in the course of a typical day. Sudden crying spells, bursts of anger, numbness, deep sadness, or feeling disconnected from the people and activities in one once found joy, fulfillment, and laughter. One day you are lighthearted and the next filled with fear and anxiety.

Ungrieved Grief

Grief seems to have a life of its own, yet I must be willing to let that life live, let grief have its way with me so healing will find its way.

Mystery of Grief

Grief requires living with mystery, the mystery of a person being here one day
and not here the next. The mystery of who am I now? Who am I now
without this relationship, this career, this experience of loss?
Grief happens not only when someone passes on, but with a loss or change of
any kind. It can be sickness (yours or another’s), loss of a relationship or job, a
career change, retirement, finance changes, children growing up, aging parents, our own aging, world events, etc. 

Grief is an aspect of everyday life

After my mom passed seven years ago, I seemed fine for two years.
I was a caregiver for my mom, we spent a lot of time together, and
I thought, hmm, I guess I’m okay. Two years later the grief showed up. 
It would be months before I realized it was grief bubbling to the surface.
With it came the leftover grief of other past losses, changes, trauma,
and life circumstances.

Practicing Pause can help us move through grief
and
Arrive anew on the other side

Pausing to receive LOVE and letting LOVE love you can heal your wounds. Whether we hate, love, or have mixed emotions with memories good, bad, indifferent, and even traumatic, with the person who has passed on or the situation that has touched our lives,

receiving the LOVE that is truly LOVE is

the way through the numerous shapes of grief;

and it is through grief that one must move.

This is my experience.

The glory of it all is what is on the other side of grief . . .

and this you will want to discover, as it is a gift without measure.

Bless,

Mary

Undoing to Find the Gift

Shared by Natalie, a Pause Crew Member

I had a nice conversation today with someone about my Pause practice
and how it has evolved over time.
As I reflected, I realized that it’s been an interesting journey so far.
I wanted to share it with you
because maybe you’ve had a similar experience.
In the beginning, I found Peace in Pausing.I also felt an “undoing” happening.
I experienced some difficulty
as I began to let go of my old way of thinking and doing.
Everything within me wanted to hold tightly to my old story,
my old way of reacting to things,
my old way of thinking and viewing the world around me (cubicle thinking!).
It was all I knew and it wasn’t easy to let it go.

But, I kept Pausing.

I put the Pause for Inspiration card
on my desk at work, in my purse, and in my car.
I found that Pausing was akin to putting one foot in front of the other.
If you keep doing it, you finally get somewhere.
Today, I have a fairly regular Pause practice.
The undoing isn’t completely undone,
but it has become less and less pronounced
and my Pause practice has become more and more
of a Peaceful Gift that I give to myself and others.

Every time I Pause,

I am giving myself the gift of a calm, quiet mind.
In that moment, I am also giving others
the gift of a calm response and interaction
that is truly helpful to us both.

When I Pause, my Inspired Self shows me the way out of cubicle thinking.

From page 159 in the Pause Golden Book:
“Make room for an experience with Inspiration Within.
Releasing your grasp on who you think you are,
who you’ve labeled yourself to be,
for better or for worse, is FREEING;
You are so much more than you think you are.
Inspiration is to be experienced in the moment.
Something within Shifts, Opens, Moves….
A gift is being offered – Welcome it”. 

Pausing Resets Your Life

Shared by Natalie, a Pause Crew Member

Have you ever felt like you were being judged?

I guess we have all felt this way at some point in our lives.

Well, just the other day I noticed something shift with someone I know

and I felt like I was being judged in that moment,

just a hint of judgment perhaps,

but it was there in something they said

(or did or something someone else told me).

I began experiencing a sense of uncertainty and concern

about myself and the relationship.

I got caught up in it for a moment and then realized,

I can Pause!

Even though I Paused,

I found myself going back to trying to figure things out,

so it was a moment-by-moment exercise

between Pausing and not Pausing.

Finally, while in a Pause,

I was reminded that I need not worry about

what another may think or say about me.

Regardless of what happens outside of me

I am always Safe, Healed, and Whole

I am grateful for this Wise Inner Helper.

I ask, “Is there another way to see this?” and “What will be truly helpful to myself and another, right now?”

I trust that there is a Peace and Knowing that is greater than what I am thinking,

yet still within me.

Pausing resets my life

so I can have Peace, right here, right now.

Everyone, including me, is worthy of a Pause.

Inspiration is longing to Inspire us—Let It.

Inspiration desires to Inspire our relationships—Let It.

How is Love revealing Love to you?

Are you pausing?

Are you listening?

Are you responding?

It is your pausing, listening and responding to 
Inspiration Within that is Being Truly Helpful
in all of your relationships.

This is the communication that heals, because
this is the communication that joins.

Ah, to be willing to let Inspiration Inspire my desires through my willingness to be fulfilled — To be free, in the peace of Inspiration.

from the Pause Golden Book, page 352

Is Now A Good Time To

Pause for Another Way?

What’s on your mind?

What’s stressing you out?

Is your heart heavy? 

Body stiff? Achy joints? Need to get up and move?

Are you bored?

Does something deep within need to change, but 

you don’t know what it is?

Maybe you do know what it is that needs to change,

but don’t know how or where to begin?

Maybe you are afraid to begin?

Perhaps begin with a Pause Practice?

Perhaps now?

CLICK on CARDS to download, enlarge, print, and/or
order to share with the world in need of a pause

Nonsense, Fufu, Pollyanna B.S.

Fortune Teller Trickster

I can hear some people thinking, “These Pause emails are a bunch of nonsense. Wake up to the real world honey!” I understand that perspective. After all, that reflects the status quo woe of the cubicle mind feeling trapped in the darkness of a prison of its own making; desiring success as the world sees it, control freak, victim mentality, me wins-you lose stance etc.

This, I assure you from personal experience, is hell. 

I recall one particularly hellish day about 25 years ago. DROWNING IN MY CUBICLE MIND, not at all being a shopper, I went shopping to try and escape hell. Let’s just say, shopping is a temporary jailbreak while still in hell.

While thumbing my way through the clothes racks, some fanatic probably with good intentions sneaks up behind me and begins trying to sell me his story about how I am going to hell if I don’t see things how he sees things. Little did he know who I was, what I believed or not, or what was coming.

The Wicked Witch of the West climbed out from my cubicle mind, gave him that look, and said, “I’m in hell!” Frightened out of his pajamas he scurried to return to a woman appearing to be his personal go-to-hell trainer.

That’s what the cubicle mind is!
Your personal go to hell, stay in hell trainer.

The Real World Is More Real Than We
May Think

I can understand why some do not gravitate towards the reality of LOVE being present with us now, the practicality of WISDOM, and the usefulness of PEACE in everyday life, yet! 

I was once one of these. Meaning, even though I have always experienced the reality of Something Way More than this body- world ladder of success, get with the program routine, I wondered what this Way More experience had to do with my striving to pay the bills, excel in my work, get healthy, get through the day.

Something Way More and the demands of daily life never seemed to be on the same page!
I had to read two completely different “newspapers” to keep the dance going one foot in one world, the other in another

Eventually, this split me in half. OUCH! Yes, OUCH mentally, OUCH emotionally, OUCH physically, OUCH relationally, and let’s just say that everyday life required a lot of band-aids! I suffered on all levels

UNTIL I PAUSED

Practicing The Pause in my daily life gets me dancing One Sane Dance with both feet in. I fall from grace now and then, but grace scoops me off my feet carrying me across the rough patches, gently setting me back down and encouraging me to pause for Inspiration, again.

EACH DAY I AM MORE APPRECIATIVE OF HOW PRACTICAL, USEFUL, and DARN RIGHT HELPFUL the 4 STEPS OF THE PAUSE PRACTICE IS.

Because in the pause is the
Peace I seek, 
the healing I need, and
the Love of which I am worthy.

GIVING and RECEIVING are ONE in THE SAME

In receiving all the gifts we have all been given we realize, recognize, and experience that we are being given all these gifts ~ and more, unceasingly ~ and that these gifts are now all ours to give;
and in our giving not one gift is lost, nor lessened in any way, and
in fact, our gifts expand exponentially,
for giving and receiving are one in the same.

In a moment today dashing down the stairs, I noticed my mind was dashing down too with negative judgments about myself. 
I chose to pause.
In the pause, willing to allow an inner shift to unfold, I was moved into a loving frame of mind before arriving at the bottom of the stairs.

In truly receiving these gifts I have been given I realize that these gifts are

truly now mine to give.
I can pause in stillness.
I can pause in motion.
I can reject a pause.
I can accept a pause.

A pause always remains within my reach, and with it,

peace of mind. 
~  ~  ~  

Giving and Receiving being One in the Same opens us to
our peace of mind.

Being Truly Present
An Experience shared by Natalie, a Pause Crew Member

The other day I was standing at the sink washing my hands
when this truly peaceful feeling came over me.
I realized that I was experiencing a feeling of
being completely in the present moment.
I don’t know how to properly and fully describe it with words.
It was just in that moment
I found myself simply standing right where I was,
doing only what I was doing, washing my hands.
 My mind wasn’t revisiting past events
or feeling anxious and nervous about the future.
I was just there, nothing more. 
It is true that our minds may be a million miles away
and thinking through a million different things
as we go about our simple daily tasks.
We may rarely be truly present.

Pausing Helps Me to Be Present

I’m grateful for my daily Pause Practice.
It can be a moment-by-moment decision to Pause
depending on where I am or what I’m doing.
Pausing reveals my peaceful Inner Self
and I’m experiencing this more and more as a result.

Stranger Danger or an Inspired Helper

A shared experience by Lisa, A Pause Crew Member

I was running errands on a super hot day. I was in and out of so many stores – I was done. I had one more stop – Party City. As I was leaving my car crossing the parking lot I see (and hear) a mother struggling with what looked to be an eight or nine-year-old boy.

Internally, I was thankful that I was not standing in the heat having an argument with my child. As I began to cross the parking lot happily on my way, I heard in my Heart∞Mind,
“You can help them. Share the Pause Practice.” 

WHAT?!?!? NO! It is hot, it has been a very long day, and I want to go home. 

Well, not this day! On this day, my Inner Wisdom guided me to do something that felt totally foreign and made me uncomfortable. As I tried to disregard what I was hearing and feeling I found myself back at my car opening the trunk, and pulling out the Pause For Your Helpful Self, Kid’s Can Pause, and Parent’s too! book and a couple of Pause cards.

I then walked over to the mother/son duo and the argument stopped as all eyes landed on me. I gave a quick hello and explanation of The Pause Practice. As I handed the mother the materials the boy grabbed the book and started to read it. Right there, before my eyes, he calmed down, smiled, and in a calm sweet manner asked for another book for his friend. Of course, I was going to honor his request! We walked back to my car and as I opened up the trunk he saw some dinosaur masks I had and said he really liked dinosaurs. I gave him the requested extra book and two masks – one for him and one for his friend. The mother looked me in the eyes, smiled, and gave me a heartfelt “thank you”.

In the store, I overheard the mother and son happily talking about the book, cards, and masks. No more arguing and I no longer felt like I had intruded on them.

I actually felt like I helped the mother and son and in turn, helped myself. 

In practicing The Pause and following the guidance given to me
– no matter how uncomfortable it felt –
I was able to help another and help myself. 

Pausing in the Doctor’s Office

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